Jan 31, 2011

The End?


Wow, it’s been a while since I lasted wrote on this thing...

Over the last few weeks, I’ve stopped pretty much everything. I stopped my internship at JWT because I figured that over the Christmas holidays I’d be so caught up with meeting my classmates and having a great time that I wouldn’t be able to do the work to the best.

I’ve stopped cycling, with a low seat which has been given the title of the toughest seat in Bangalore, causing huge amounts of pain to my knees. (I know, wah wah wah but it really does hurt.)

For my birthday I got a sweet DSLR a Canon 500D with the standard lens (18-55mm) and a 55-250mm lens so my dream of having a camera was finally fulfilled. Yet, I’ve taken less that 200 pictures that I’ve said, I could have not done that on my old camera.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that freedom is overrated. Yes, that was clichéd, but –blam- it’s true. You look forward for holidays and the freedom of no studies, but in order to enjoy the holidays, you need to be doing something.

Great, my computer just did had a hiccup death and so now I’ve lost my chain of thought.

My idea behind the creation of this blog was to express myself in a new way. Like every form of art, photography, writing all seems to access my subconscious and get through to what I really am thinking about, what I want and how I want to do it.

First off, if you’ve read till here. Thank you for bearing with my misguided thoughts and depressing crap.
Now, one last favour, just go to all my other posts, read them and see how long those were. Granted, they aren’t brilliant and could use proof reading. But they were from my mind, one seamless thought transcribed into a document that was posted. Right now, there are a maximum of 3 voices in my head. All talking about something else. Each one coming and going and changing the track every 30 seconds. If you have kids or you’re a kid, remember when you switch the radio station/song every 30 seconds. That’s my head.

You all probably think I’m insane...

(I'm not entirely sure about that...anyway...)

In the end, I miss the order, not because I gave me a form to my day, but because I didn’t have to think about anything else, the day was already planned.

I could go and cycle and I would go to my friend’s house, play video games and come back.

I would go to work and be there from 10 to 7. And I never had to move from my desk.

I could go take some photos and not be asked by my mother if I’m using my camera for another 3 weeks.

So in the end, and oddly enough; what I got from my day was laziness.

If you are a friend from school who’s reading this, I might have often said how I like a structure to my day, it’s not for anything else but so that I don’t have to think beyond it, or be creative.

What I’ve come to realise is that I’ve lacked focus for the last 18 years. Through school, exams and life I’ve just coasted on the daily grind and nothing else.

I went to my old school today, I went by bus and I realised that I didn’t have anything to say to anyone. I’ve been a boring kid, I’ve never really had to move out of my shell and so I lack the creativity and the will to do something in my day and more importantly in my life.

A conclusion to this can only be expressed by these senseless comic book pages.

And so marks the end of Vol. 1

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