Today, someone passed away.
I feel cheated that I never had the opportunity, the privilege to know her when she was as young as she was today.
Growing up in Hong Kong, my grandparents lived a huge distance away in India, and she was the elder of our little community. She was someone who just got love, she never needed to ask, never needed to want it.
Her children, her grandchildren loved her ever so much, and if you had known her, you would have too. There was that infectious characteristic to her. You met her and you would always remember her.
As I grew up, she was family, she was our grandmother. People who are that special, are family, and you can never have too many grandmothers!
She was someone who whenever we met, I would feel like I was coming back with something, a new thought, a revived feeling of life. I guess that's just what she was, an ocean of life, you could be the saddest person in the world, but chatting with her would just reignite that spark of life in you and remind you that you have so much of it in you, that squandering it is a crime.
Sharing the gift of life does not diminish it, it simply overfills the vessel. I hope, I pray to god that I am able to have even half the life that she has when I last saw her.
With her passing, I mourn in a special way, a way I think she would have wanted us to remember her. With a smile on our faces, with fond memories in our minds and our bodies filled with life.
For that truly is the greatest legacy, to not only touch so many lives, but to be an integral part of them. Even though she has left her body, she has not left our hearts, our souls and she never will.
I truly feel sad today, I mourn for my fathers mother, a woman of amazing character and similarly filled with life, who passed before I could understand these things, and because this remarkable woman passed away without me getting a chance to talk to her one more time, to tell her just how much she really meant to me.
She was family.
I feel cheated that I never had the opportunity, the privilege to know her when she was as young as she was today.
Growing up in Hong Kong, my grandparents lived a huge distance away in India, and she was the elder of our little community. She was someone who just got love, she never needed to ask, never needed to want it.
Her children, her grandchildren loved her ever so much, and if you had known her, you would have too. There was that infectious characteristic to her. You met her and you would always remember her.
As I grew up, she was family, she was our grandmother. People who are that special, are family, and you can never have too many grandmothers!
She was someone who whenever we met, I would feel like I was coming back with something, a new thought, a revived feeling of life. I guess that's just what she was, an ocean of life, you could be the saddest person in the world, but chatting with her would just reignite that spark of life in you and remind you that you have so much of it in you, that squandering it is a crime.
Sharing the gift of life does not diminish it, it simply overfills the vessel. I hope, I pray to god that I am able to have even half the life that she has when I last saw her.
With her passing, I mourn in a special way, a way I think she would have wanted us to remember her. With a smile on our faces, with fond memories in our minds and our bodies filled with life.
For that truly is the greatest legacy, to not only touch so many lives, but to be an integral part of them. Even though she has left her body, she has not left our hearts, our souls and she never will.
I truly feel sad today, I mourn for my fathers mother, a woman of amazing character and similarly filled with life, who passed before I could understand these things, and because this remarkable woman passed away without me getting a chance to talk to her one more time, to tell her just how much she really meant to me.
She was family.
Dear Virpratap,
ReplyDeleteThank you for expressing so well what you feel, and thereby, representing what I and so many others feel today.
That Ammi Jaan was special, remarkable, amazing, incredible are aspects we have over the years come to know, but what we have felt has also been a feeling of being loved, cared for, cherished, prayed for, protected, blessed - each in person, each individually, each very specially.
Ammi jaan had a place for us all, and the place she had for you was something unique - and you may or may not remember. She adored you, and so often repeated various conversations you had with her - as an example when you shyly asked how old she was - and when she said she was 78, you so flatteringly said "you dont look that old at all"
Ammi's hugs were so special - weak and frail as she was. There was this magical feel that you had some how been absorbed by her force, by her body, and combined with her soul. I have never even felt like that and I imagine many who read your blog would have a similar connect.
Another tremendous pleasure was doing a one on one with Ammi, whether it was speaking about life, the family, ones problems, getting her advise or simply flirting with her.
Yes, she was a great one to tease and her laughter was a combined sound of little bells, raindrops falling, small musical notes, a light wind, small children at play, a mothers love and of course the young woman that always resided within her.
But her prayes, her blessings and DUA;s were there for each one and every one. It is no wonder that she had no time from prayers for the social side of life - because she found time to individually mention us all in her prayers. I have never ever spoken with her and not come away with my head covered with her hand of blessing, and strength in my heart from her piety.
So many people grieve her passing, yet her words were not to grieve but to celebrate, and we should celebrate her life, and what a life. It was not all a bed of rosed and she must have had her own hardships, trials and tribulations, but she always saw the positive in life, till the end and beyond.
Her family grieves with deep emotion because their loss is irreplacable, but that unfortunately is the way of life. I feel still the racking sobs of my brother when I hugged him just after he heard, and I hope the memories, the laughter, the smiles and the love she received and gave will see him through.
Tima, Shereyar, Zara and Mahira will feel this no less, but blessed are they that they had the love and life to shere with Ammi Jaan.
I guess Allah Pak when he looks down at us all has a smile on His face, because he now has in Heaven an angel that once graced this earth, was part of our family and was our darling Ammi Jaan.
Dear Virpratap so beautifully said and the love and feelings behind this is something that I as a daughter feels but would not have been able to express thank you for feeling this way about amijan ----It is true that she had a family In Pakistan but at times I felt that that she was closer to her family in Hongkong which was you all luv you all and bless you aachi apa
ReplyDeleteVirpratab, you have no idea how much i cried after i read what you had written for Amijaan, we all were truly blessed to have been loved by someone as remarkable as her. I have put together a letter for Amijaan which i will read at a Dua we are having for her on Sunday in Lahore. I have taken extracts from everyones letters/notes to Amijaan as i know you all would want to be with at this Dua for her. You all were as much her family if not more as we were. So this was our way of having you be there. You will always be part of Amijaan, just as she will be of you. You have indeed become a remarkable man one that Amijaan would be so proud of today.
ReplyDeleteLots of Love
Uzma
P.S. will post the letter for you to read as well.
Thank you all so much for appreciating what I wrote. She was a very very special person and I'm sure that she is indeed smiling down at all of us.
ReplyDeleteUzma aunty, I wish I could have been there with you all at her Dua.
Thank you again