Jan 14, 2013

Ride North

Remember how I've said that life is going great and all that jazz?

Forget that.

I remember a quote by Dr. Seuss, and I'm going to butcher it a bit "You know you can't sleep when reality is finally better than your dreams"

I've found myself agreeing with this statement from time to time, however, I will say loudly, that I do not agree with him.

When you can't sleep, that's when life sucks. Because your body is keeping you awake so that you do something so that you are able to sleep with some semblance of content.

I'm trying to write a book, but the words aren't coming.
I'm trying to start a company, but that is permanently shelved cause I don't have the time for it.
I'm trying to get fit, but can't be motivated.

I'm trying to do so much, when it is so easy to just sit and listen to music.

Instead. I guess, I have to do.

(Please understand that this little rant, is my way of giving myself a pep-talk. The asylum is sadly, understaffed. We had a few people abruptly quit and they stole everything that wasn't nailed down.)

Great, a song I positively detest has come on. I'd delete it, but it used to have happy memories attached to it, but not so much anymore, and the person who quit stole the delete button.

Bah Humbug.

When I set my mind to something, it is balanced on a needle point. Quite literally, ANY distraction will send everything into an abyss and I'll be forced to choose what to grab onto. So when someone comes and gives a nice big push, you get me, writing at 2 am about things which don't make sense, hearing songs that make my heart blacken ever so slightly.

I have a plan for 2013. And it's a tough one. I'm all set to learn more about myself, about my limits and what all I can achieve. But it's always scary to face this, and always so easy to run to comfort.

The one new thing I want to do is just travel.

I want to fill my water bottle, pack a bag, charge my camera, grab my helmet and leap onto my cycle and just ride. Ride North.

Ride north, away from Home, away from friends that don't talk to me, away from college. Away from familiarity. Not for anything else, but just the pure quest for something new.

Sadly, I'm too much of a chicken. I'll say these big and majestic things. But never do it.

Don't take this to heart reader, I'm just unhappy with today's productivity levels. Tomorrow begins the day anew and the Sun will rob my heart of the darkness that crept into it in the night.

Good night.

Thanks for Listening.

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